The Joy of Responsibility.

Whilst I was looking at things I would have liked to tell my 21 year old self, it got me thinking about other things I could add, one of the biggest things that has changed my life… responsibility.

Now we have a teenage son and if you have ever had that experience, like me you may have had the word responsibility bubbling at your lips dying to leap out on so many occasions, as the complete lack of it exhausts you once more.  I have this “if only he would……and take responsibility” line regularly running through my head.  Then I bring myself back to reality and ask myself when I first really understood the concept.  I understand my son’s reluctance; from his perspective, responsibility means effort and pain.  It saddens me that since he no longer believes in Father Christmas, he views Christmas as a chore, and hates the “responsibility” of having to think about what to buy for other people. For him the word is weighty and restrictive, for me it has a whole other meaning.

I would like to be able to tell you when I first understood the joy of being responsible, but I don’t think it was a single moment, more a slow realisation over a period of time. I completely understand how many people might object to being told that their current situation or disposition are completely as a result of their own actions and decisions, however I honestly believe they are!

My husband thinks that is a really negative and judgemental opinion, however for me it is liberating.

If I can stand here and say I am here because of the choices I have made, I am then in control of my circumstances. I can change the things I don’t like and get more of the things I do like. For me it leads to much more joy than if I were to always feel that things were done to me.  Taking responsibility moves me from a victim to a creator.  I can make a difference, I can change things, I can move forward.

I enjoy Christmas because I don’t have to worry about what Father Christmas will or won’t bring, I know that the spirit of father Christmas lives within me and I can use that to bring whatever joy and gifts I want to the people around me. I am happy to enjoy the  responsibility for who I am!

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